spurious//notorious

For clarification (where it most likely isn’t needed, but whatever), the theme of this blog isn’t going to be about my Grandfather’s passing as my previous post may have indicated.  I honestly don’t know what this blog will be about.  I don’t even know that there is any good purpose for it other than to vomit some words into cyberspace now and then.

That being said, I should probably go do something useful.  I stayed home from work today under the pretenses of ‘working from home’, when in actuality I just meddled with my home network setup for most of the day (or at least what was left of it after sleeping until 11:30 am).

I don’t know if I’m actually reeling inside from this whole thing with Grandpa or what.  I’ve felt strangely calm since he passed-  maybe even relieved.  It didn’t even phase me one bit to arrive at his house last night after receiving the news and promptly assist in lifting him, lifeless, from the bed as the hospice care nurse was removing his personal clothing from his then-empty vessel.  Maybe I’m too accustomed to compartmentalizing and mentally removing myself from a situation.

Whatever the case, I do feel at peace with his passing.  I said my goodbyes a week ago.  The saddest thing for me in all of this is that my son will never know what a truly incredible person he was while on earth.  The stories, heartwarming as they are, will never do justice to the life he lived.

I’ve heard some folks say that if he were to die, it would be a triumph for evil;  that Death would have prevailed.  I disagreed with them then and I disagree with them now.  Harold Burkholder lived a life so humble, so reverent, and so compassionate that even in his death the Father is glorified.  Never before have I seen my family (church and otherwise) come together and offer love and support to each other in the way they did during the months and weeks leading up to his passing.

To God be the glory. Death, you have no victory here.

Now I should really go plan my lesson for youth group…